1123 ex post facto reality

I.  "I am he
as you are he
and we are all together".

I walked down this dirt road
in the dark to siddhartha
and I told him 
you are not my father; I renounce you. 

So, now 
in the golden flicker
of candlelight 
in the water bowls 
in every dark room of my mind
is it my own fault, 
I wonder. 

this could be 1800's new orleans 
I can smell the jasmine 
and feel the white lace dress 
and the binding tightness 
of the spell of righteousness...

of all the places I have been
new orleans was the most 
and least free. 

but I digress,
as always.

III.  bodhisattva

in my youth 
I was an 
perhaps now 
I am merely a storm cloud.

rainbows come of such things.

this is the section about Descartes.

I think. 

In this post facto reality
I've got going 
truth is, 
I am the same person I was 
the day I first realized who I am. 

all the many and the none
I walked backwards to get here. 

"but it's all right ma, it's life, and life only"

nautilus shell 
was a birthday gift
I cant recall who gave it to me
but I remember 
suddenly now 
after 40 years
they said 
"It's You, 
or actually, right there in the center is you."
my birthday 
the first 4 numbers of the Fibonacci sequence

if we apply the golden ratio 
we can see how it is...

a logarithmic spiral. . .. ...