then I remember that I did forget

I could almost forget your cruelty today, 
then I remember that I did forget. 
 For so long, I  forgave this streak of rage 
and meanness in you, 
that now to remember is almost like a dream.  
Everything that hurt was buried deep in me. 
 As it emerges I cannot restrain my weeping.  
I can't leave the house for weeping.  
It comes upon me like a huge wave 
and floods the floor beneath me.  
I am standing one minute and on the floor the next.  
Your vicious words fall out of the closet in my head... 
they are spilling and spilling towards me.  
I have to let them out and flow away forever, 
but it seems impossible. 

preempted rerun

We were faith.  
It was a project, many years preempted. 
I sat on your lap in my kimono.. 
and you told me I was too young 
and that you were going away.  
I nodded my head.  
You left.  
I stared out the window for a few weeks.  

There's that feeling again.  
The windows are so big.  
I covered them with white cloth, 
but it seemed like a shroud on reality.  
I bought curtains covered with green vines... 
now, I sleep in a cold castle, alone.  
It is like a death.  
The loss of you is a dream unrealized.         

                           

lines in the sand

The lines in the sand 
drawn with small wooden rakes, 
and our love is an island 
in the sand sea.  
The people stand by and look at it.  
They say nothing.

Your letter today 
an impossibility...
how can I have lingered,
watching the Koi,
and not noticed
your cruelty
for two years?